Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
