There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
