You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
