ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
