What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
