I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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