I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
