I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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