We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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