i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It's just like the Real World with babies
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
