Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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