we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
