Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
