you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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