if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
