If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
