My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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