why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
