The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
