And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just blew my weed a kiss
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
