doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
