Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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