can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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