He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
