oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
