I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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