Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
