i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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