Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
