I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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