Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize