PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
