Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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