Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
