She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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