ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
