There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
