I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
