his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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