I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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