Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
