The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
