Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
