If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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