New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
