i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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