He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
