Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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