im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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