Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
