it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
