We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do you still have your period?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
