if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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